19 September 2007

Shiver Me Timbers

Ahoy me hearties! Raise high yer noggin o' rum on this, International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Well gotten booty, ho!

Did you know that the most successful pirate EVER was a woman? A Chinese pirate married a prostitute in 1801, and she took over his bidness when he died in 1807, growing the operation to 1500 ships and 80,000 sailors. I'd say that makes Cheng I Sao the first female CEO. Granted amnesty by the government in 1810, she lived to be 69 and a great-grandmother. Read all about Cheng I Sao's bad self here.

As a little kid, I'd bop around the living floor when the Olympics came on, pretending to be a gymnast. Can't WAIT to bring back the let's pretend spirit tonight and strut about as a pirate wench, instead:

From a Telegraph article billed on Fark:

How to be a pirate girl

Wear a lot of bandanas. Especially ones with skull and crossbones designs and red and black ones. When not wearing a bandana, make your hair a bit messy. You can also use an eye patch. White, ivory, beige, cream and tan peasant shirts are great for the look. Skull t-shirts are also great. Plain black, white or beige shirts with cut-off sleeves are a great addition to your wardrobe. Brightly coloured long sleeve button ups are piratey. Just make sure they are loose, not stiff like a shirt a corporate executive might wear to the office. And make sure you leave all of it untucked but the very front, creating a sagging look (regardless of how it's finished) and unbutton the top few buttons.

How to talk like a pirate

Growl - and scowl often. Pirates don't use a cultured, elegant, smooth vocalization - they mutter and growl.

Gesture with your hands frequently. Don't forget that pirates do most of their talking on the deck of a ship - out on the ocean, where wind, waves, and bird calls make it tough to hear. Gesturing often gives you a sense of "being there."

Run words together. Saying, "The boys and I were out for a lovely day on the water today" sounds like something you'd overhear at a yacht club. Instead, try, "Me'n'these here scurvy scallywags drug our sorry keesters out t'th'ship'n'had us a grand great adventuaaarrr! We almost had t'keelhaul Mad Connie f'r gettin inter th' grog behind our backs!" Note that you should always endeavour to call the addressee by some insulting name, usually involving an animal. "Yer a scurvy bilge rat, ya pompous gasbag" or "Here's yer dinner, ya mangy cockroach." (source: wikiHow)

From Robert Balder's PartiallyClips.com

1 comment:

countrymouse said...

"Growl - and scowl often. Pirates don't use a cultured, elegant, smooth vocalization - they mutter and growl."

So, my regular morning routine doesn't have to be altered then?